Letter From Lisi

The Current State of My Union

Dearest GLUs,

I’m having a year.

2025 has been one gut punch after another—a period I refer to as my Black Mold Era. The details are jaw-dropping, and not at all what you want to read about on a Saturday afternoon. Just know that rolling with said punches–and my glitching nervous system–has become a full-time job. One that has made my other full-time job (writing) a manifestation of the classic running-but-not-moving-forward dream.

Forgive my womansplaining, but writing novels demands focus, creativity, playfulness, presence, and…did I say focus? Real-life gut punches such as death, destruction, illness, breakups, moving, financial stress, finals, unemployment, and black mold toxicity (to name a few) are the carbon monoxides of creativity–silent, deadly killers. You don’t have to be a writer to relate. No matter what you do, or how well you do it, life is going gut you. And when it does, your relationships, focus, spice for life, and productivity are going to get the wind knocked out of them. So, how do you transcend the misery and reclaim your joie de vivre?

These five techniques have been working for me.

1. Remember Why.

Remember why you started doing this thing in the first place. And yes, doing “this thing” can also refer to a person. What drew your younger self to this career or partner? What were you feeling during the honeymoon phase? Get granular. For me, writing has always been a secret portal. A world of my own making that I could inhabit when I needed to process complicated emotions and control outcomes. Writing is how I communicate with my soul, hear my thoughts, discover my opinions, crack myself up, and move myself to tears. It is my first love. Reminding myself of this is inspiring. But closing my eyes and feeling it? That’s transformative.

2. Nerd Alert!

Last Friday night, I cancelled my plans, DoorDashed Pho, and did not turn on Netflix. Determined to jump-start my joy, I highlighted three issues of Writer's Digest Magazine. Then, I took a bath and listened to The Shit No One Tells You About Writing podcast. Wait…where is everyone going? Come back! I’m cool! I swear! Immersing myself in a community of like-minded people reminded me that what I do matters. And it made me feel less alone in my meh. Because writing is hard. It’s isolating. When I’m flailing, it’s easy to blame my shortcomings, declare that my best days are behind me, and journal about how no one understands my plight. Nerding out reminded me that struggle is inherent to the process. Career and relationship lows are unavoidable. Spark the passion by exploring books, movies, podcasts, magazines, and YouTube channels about GLUs who have felt your pain and come out the other side.

3. Play Hard to Get.

Step away for a few days. Go somewhere different, a place your problems have never been before. That way, it will be harder for those pesky little stalkers to find you. It doesn’t have to be far. It can be the tragic coffee shop you pass every day en route to the cuter one. A different manicurist for a color you’ve never worn before. Or a day without a to-do list. If you’ve ever seen a rom-com, you know how powerful breaks can be. And if you haven’t seen a rom-com, watch one (in someone else’s living room).

4. Find the Fun

Long before I had ever published a novel, I carried a little black book in my bag. If someone walked like they were falling forward, I’d write it down. Cool names, funny musings, stoned theories that failed to make sense the next day, outfits, smells, sights, sounds…I’d even follow people on the streets of New York and narrate their thoughts (see Nerd Alert). I had a lot of fun as a writer, on and off the page. And yet, I haven’t filled a little black book in eight years. So, guess what I did? Yep. Add to cart. It arrived two days ago and I’ve already written four pages. Remember what you used to do for fun, BGP (before gut punches)--and do it!

5. Belly-Up Buttercup.

Belly up to a bar, order a cock or a mock, and chat with a rando. Get out of the echo chamber in your head and get curious about someone else. Being of service to others, which can be as simple as listening to a story different than your own, is a great way to put a stick in the fan of your internal dialogue and get a fresh perspective. One that will most likely be colored with gratitude and self-esteem. It’s like meditation for people who are too anxious to meditate. (Bring pepper spray just in case.)

Please let me know if any of these help resuscitate the old you. Don't believe they work? Tell that to the CSTU I just busted out below.

Current State of The Union

OUT:

Hate of the Union

Meditate

Cock Block

IN:

Create of the Union

Motivate

Cock Talk

Confession: I feel a tad awkward saying “cock” even though it’s short for cocktail. I know we’re all adults here, but our relationship began when you were in middle school, and I still think of you as young and innocent. Do you think of me as your sassy aunt, the fun one you clung to at family gatherings, but who didn’t curse? Because here’s the thing, I do curse.

Ah-lot.

I’ve been struggling with this curse crisis while writing State of the Reunion. I’m trying to find the line. Feedback would be appreciated. Cursing while giving said feedback is absolutely allowed encouraged.

Xoxo Lisi