Middle School Wisdom Your Adult Self Needs to Hear.

I don’t mean to brag, but I recently recorded a Cameo for a Clique fan’s 30th birthday. I wanted to offer soul-altering wisdom minus any been-there-yawned-at-that platitudes. Besides, Millennials don’t want to hear what's what from a Gen X-er. What do I know–other than how to remind you that life was better when we were your age? (It was.)

Well, I know this: the specifics of your late twenties and early thirties? Wildly different than middle school. Oh-bviously. You’ve traded cafeteria drama for office politics, classroom crushes for dating apps, and glitter gel pens for glitter gel manicures. Now you’ve got bosses, Pilates, therapists, birth control, exes, in-laws, coworkers, edibles, social media, and—for those who can afford to live on your own—apartments, roommates, rodents, and rent.

And yet—no judgment—your social-emotional struggles have kinda stayed the same. Maybe your college and work friends are fighting for your time. Perhaps everyone is pairing off while you're still swiping left. And chances are you’re comparing your clothes, weight, hair, umbrella, purse, skincare, Oura ring stats, and number of followers to those of your friends. Everything is shifting and evolving, and you’re STILL terrified of getting left behind. Seventh grade much?

Well, guess what? No one in fictional history knew that terror better than the Pretty Committee. So, I opened my yellowed Clique novels and searched for some middle-school wisdom your adult self needs to hear.

Massie Block: "Friends are like clothes; they can’t be in forever."
— Best Friends for Never

This may sound grim and dismissive, but it's quite mature. Clothes, like friendships, stretch and fray over time. Those made of high-quality fabrics hold their shape, while others are fast fashion—there to get you through a season but not built to last a lifetime. The key is to know the difference and then be brave enough to drop the seasonals in a donation bin for someone else to love.

Alicia Rivera: "Almost as good as Massie is not as good as Massie."
— The Clique

Preach, Alicia! Striving to be a second-rate dupe of someone else is depressing AF. And she should know, having spent 23 novels trying to be an alpha. So if you're trying to be more like your boss, coworker, bestie, favorite influencer, or anyone other than yourself—stop. Comparing yourself to others pokes holes in your soul and makes you hemorrhage self-esteem. Strive to be the best version of yourself rather than a second-best version of someone else. That way, you’ll always be an alpha.

Dylan Marvil: "Oh, please. I've tried every diet in existence. The best one is the 'Screw It, I’m Just Going To Be Happy' diet."
— Bratfest at Tiffany’s

This was clearly written before Ozempic. But the message holds: Stop apologizing for carbs. Stop hating yourself for being hungry. Stop double-hating yourself for eating double when you’re stressed and PMS'ed. If you’re going to eat it, enjoy it. Enjoying is sexy. Appetites are sexy. Self-loathing and regret are the semaglutide of attractiveness. They block the hot.

Claire Lyons: "Just because you fit in doesn’t mean you belong."
— Sealed with a Diss

Your teens were about fitting in. Your 30s? They're about belonging. Here’s how you know: Fitting in feels like digesting rusty batteries. It’s corrosive. But belonging? That feels like a Friday afternoon blowout—light, tight, and effortless.

Kristen Gregory: "I’m trying to win a scholarship, not a tiara."
— Revenge of the Wannabes

Success isn’t about flashy titles, bumper stickers, and humblebrag posts. Fine, it is, but it shouldn’t be. Winning feels best when born out of hard work, hustle, and passion. And the prize is self-esteem, which lasts a lifetime. Tiaras, however, do not. Google "Meghan Markle Tiara Wedding Day" if you don’t believe me. It’s real.

Now, get out there and live like someone whose social-emotional growth wasn’t stunted in middle school!!! And if you can’t, crack open your yellowed novels and let the 12-year-olds help.

Xoxo, Lisi