Pitch Imperfect
Five SOTR Story Pitches That Didn’t Make The Cut.
As many of you know, I have wanted to write an adult Clique for almost a decade. I first pitched it as a TV show (set in London), then a movie (about a ten-year reunion in Westchester), and finally, a novel focused on a single weekend (a bachelorette party gone wrong). I scrapped them all.
Enter Ellen.
After one trillion Clique-centric conversations, we agreed that the girls belonged back in their natural habitats–a novel, at least for now. Unlike TV and movies, novels have no budgets. Locations do not need scouting, actors do not need coddling (sorry Ellen), studio executives can’t squash your dreams, and global pandemics can’t shut you down. In the novel-verse, the author is God, limited only by her imagination and misplaced ADD meds. In other words, we went for it.
The goal was to make SOTR as funny, fun, and impactful as the original series. Their themes had to be your themes. Their struggles, your struggles. The story had to entertain, but it also had to resonate. It was a tall order. We dug deep.
When the brainstorming began, Ellen and I declared, “No bad ideas!” We were going to put it all on the table. And you know what that got us? A table full of bad ideas.
Rest assured: you will NOT find said ideas in State of the Reunion. Should you like any of them, know that what we have is much better. And if you don’t, you’re welcome.
FIVE IDEAS WE HIGHLIGHT-DELETED FROM SOTR.
Backstory: Merritt Belden-Snow was in eighth grade when she and her family arrived in Westchester and bought the Block estate. Filling the designer shoes of the infamous Massie Block wasn’t easy. But with a little effort and a lot of nose job, Merritt rose to the top of the feud chain using extreme kindness and toxic inclusivity. Now: Massie returns from London for Alicia’s bachelorette party, which Merritt is hosting–at Massie’s old house!!! Chaos ensues. (Too catfighty.)
Each chapter begins with the character’s latest Instagram feed. From there, we launch into their IRL story, which is not even close to the polished pictures they post. (So, what? Now we need an illustrator?)
Massie, a celebrity stylist in London, is cancelled for publicly fat-shaming a Royal. (It's kind of funny, but also kind of five minutes ago.)
Claire is dating Roman Adler, a super hot carpist (carpenter/artist) who can’t get a paying job. During Covid, people left Brooklyn in droves and ditched their unwanted things on the side of the road. Claire convinces Roman to refurbish the found items and sell them. She shoots porn-like videos of him sanding furniture, etc, and they go viral and… (I mean, I can’t with this one.)
Alicia went to NYU to study dance. A rising star, she started dating her sexy Brazilian ballet professor. When she graduated, she married him but completely missed the fact that he was banging bunheads. Oh, and he used her to get his Green Card. Alicia was the only one surprised. Now she is living in her parent’s house, clerking at her dad’s law firm, and… (I’m depressed.)
There are plenty more highlight-deletes where these came from. If you like them, I will post more. If you don’t, fear not. They are dead to us, too. We’re focused on the ideas we are keeping, of which there are tons. My 65-page hyper-detailed outline is almost complete, and the writing begins April 1st. I honestly can’t wait to share it with you because this story, OUR story, is my favorite of all time.
Xoxo Lisi
“I mean, I can’t with this one” 😂😂😂😂😂 I forgot about the furniture repurposing LOL that one was crazy
These are hilarious. Definitely post more plot rejects!